About friends

19 Aug

As years pass, our friends seem to be more like we wish them to be, and more like we want to remember them than they really are.
I want to share with you, readers of my posts, my experience with people I treated as my friends.
Some two months ago one of my girl friends was passing through a hard time because she broke up with her boyfriend. I consoled her without feeling pity for her. Just wanted to make her feel better and give her hope. One day, she replied me with "Lucky you, you have…this and that". I felt sad and disappointed to read that. It was not the first time that some friend told me that.
There is no place for friendship if someone envies you. And if someone envies you, that person doesn't love you.
Why do people not consider that behind someone's success there is a lot of hard work, effort,…? If someone can't be happy for his friend, he doesn't deserve to have a friend.
So, dear readers what do you think about this?


Posted by on August 19, 2009 in Uncategorized



17 responses to “About friends

  1. gdare

    August 19, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    It is nice to see two kitties hugging :DOh, the question was not about them?Just joking. Friends are not supposed to envy their friends` happiness. They should be happy for them. On the other hand, she felt pity for herself and for that she was probably envious to other people`s happiness. It was not right but could be understood….

  2. gdare

    August 20, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Ne ljutim se naravno, opusti se 🙂

  3. gdare

    August 20, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Miro, zelena slova oznacavaju whisper – to samo ti mozes da procitas :doh: 😆

  4. WinterForLady

    August 20, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Nemoj da se ljutiš. Stvarno nisam znala. Nadam se da niko nije video moj komentar :worried:

  5. gdare

    August 20, 2009 at 3:08 pm

    Nije trebalo da brises, samo da stavis whisper=gdare izmedju pravougaonih zagradazatim tekst porukepa na kraju /whisper takodje u zagrade:)

  6. thetomster

    August 20, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    :up: good one, Mira … I agree to this … I always wondered what makes people being called friends asking for feeling pity for themselves … as if they would need someone confirming their bad feelings instead of giving hope or encouraging them … I never got this … and I never will, because I've had the same experience more than once and in the end I stood there thinking about what I might have done wrong … and couldn't get an answer … reading your post brought something back to my mind for what I have been very thankful when I broke up with my fiancée nearly 20 years ago after being engaged for 5 years … there was no one around me feeling pity for me, no one around me I could envy … all of the so called friends gone or unreachable … and in the end I've been happy with it because I had to get on with my life on my own … and luckily there was no one confirming all my bad feelings at all … not that I got it right at the moment while going through this … I discovered later then, I admit some years later 🙂 … when I had my last experience with a so called friend who couldn't deal with the fact that I wasn't feel worse than him after his divorce … I've heard this once too often "lucky you … " … no, those people don't deserve what friendship can give them … someone to talk to, to share with and someone encouraging and supporting … most of them prefer to deal with their helplessness because it's a feeling worse than all of the bad crossing their minds all day long … it's so much easier to envy someone than to get up and take care and deal responsible with their own feelings …

  7. studio41

    August 21, 2009 at 7:08 am

    "I consoled her without feeling pity for her." I don't know what you mean by pity… I imagine empathy/sympathy is very good toward friends, but to wallow in self-pity will not help. I think grieving a loss with a friend is a good thing to do and to give them the time they need, bearing one another's burdens in love… sounds like you instilled hope 🙂 that is good.I have realized in myself at times that to resent someone's blessings shows need to mature, in order to be a good friend. and to have a spirit of gratitude for what I do have, the ways in which I am blessed… sometimes I truly get stuck, and some of those times it is because perhaps an healthy boundary needs to be put in place &/or I need to move forward. in regards to envy/jealousy… I think jealousy is really that "green-eyed monster" as we've heard of before. it can do a lot of damage…

  8. AnitaMargita

    August 21, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    What to tell you about this topic Mira, except that friendships are like plants… If they aren't treated with love and understanding… Time is the best indicator to show whether the friendship is real or fake…

  9. WinterForLady

    August 21, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Originally posted by gdare:

    It is nice to see two kitties hugging

    😆 Darko, I could understand it but than I can't trust these people like I did before.Dirk, thank you, I appreciate your opinion very much, your wise wordsOriginally posted by thetomster:

    it's so much easier to envy someone than to get up and take care and deal responsible with their own feelings …

    It looks so clear now and I know what to do 🙂 Anita,I completely agree my dear friend :heart:

  10. thetomster

    August 21, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    😉 you're welcome !

  11. WinterForLady

    August 21, 2009 at 11:08 pm

    Jill, yes I agree that the "green-eyed monster" can hurt us a lot..but we can learn from our experience and protect ourselves in the future. Have a nice weekend :heart:

  12. studio41

    August 25, 2009 at 10:08 am


  13. mm9p

    August 30, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Hey Mira, I hope you have a good holiday. I think true friendship will not blossom with mutual respect and understanding. Sometimes, the people would come when they are in need and they don't even care once they think they could not get anything out from others. We could not choose the family, but for friends, we can choose. 😆 😀

  14. WinterForLady

    September 17, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Hello Su Myat,I couldn't agree more that some people come to us only when they need something and usually they don't give anything back.How will blossom true friendship?

  15. Banim

    October 9, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    hmmmmmmmm different thoughts, different oppinions, well all are wise and more experienced than me, but Mira to be honest its a decision u should make not others. ur decision shouldnot be influnced by my oppinion or other's because of a simple reason. the friend u are talking about is ur friend, only u have connection with her. only u knows who she is, how she is doing things, whats her condition, what she means to u? me dont, others dont.and i dont think saying 'lucky u' means she envies u or is jealous. does saying 'u are beatiful' means the person is jealous? we should try to be positive and in case of friends extreme positive. because frns are hard to the second view- i believe in friendship to maintain it we cant be winner all the time, we need to understand the need of winning, infact sometimes it makes more happy to loose to a frn. and if any friend becomes jealous we should need to try to forget it. because its not a big deal. every human being feels jealous of something, and if in a life anyone doesnot felt jealous of something he/she is not a human. can u say that u have never felt jealous of something/someone. and if u have then why u should feel bad if someone does the same. jealousy is not a crime. its a normal human nature. does envying someone are feeling jealous is sufficient for someone to break friendship? come on these are small things. Friendship is a big deal.and lastly i will say – "A friend in Need is a Friend indeed".dont forget her condition, she needs a friend. no matter if u didnot say hello to her when she was with lots of people, but u must say hello to her when she is alone and needs someone who can listen to her. i will lastly give u a example- "if u deeply love someone, and u come to know that, that someone doesnt love u, will u stop loving him, or u will try atleast once to get that someone's love". if ur answer is the first one then u should not contact her and if u believe in the second answer, u kknow what u should do 🙂 (i think a strong person like u dont give up so easily)mmm i think i have written a essay here :p sorry!!!************ U ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO MUST TAKE UR DECISION, INDEPENDENTLY,BECAUSE U ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS HER*********

  16. WinterForLady

    October 14, 2009 at 5:10 pm

    Banim, thank you very much for sharing your opinion here with us. I try to look on things from your point of view. Yes, it's my decision but you all helped me to look on the problem from a different aspects and I appreciate it 🙂 If someone say you "lucky you, you have a car" he doesn't envy you?I did feel jealous, mostly in my youth but as I am older I left that feeling behind me. Being jealous on someone won't help me a bit. If I want to have something I should work on it and concentrate. Friendship is based on love and understanding. If I ever feel jealous on someone again I will retreat myself and try to understand why, try to solve a problem and after I clear things out I'll return to my friend.Don't say sorry, you have written a wise words here :)If I love someone and she/he doesn't love me I will try to get someone's love..a few times. But if I can't change things..I would accept it.

  17. Banim

    October 15, 2009 at 10:10 am

    okay :)thats from ur point of view.wish u nice time.


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